Beholding

"Though kings shall be cast down, and nations removed, the souls that through faith link themselves with God's purpose shall abide forever."~EGW

"Fasten your eyes upon Jesus, and by beholding you will become assimilated to His image."EGW

"Now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but when then I shall know even as also I am known." 1Corinthians13:12

" By beholding Christ, by talking of Him, by beholding the loveliness of His character we become changed. Changed from glory to glory. And What is glory? Character--and he becomes changed from character to character. Thus we see that there is a work of purification that goes on by beholding Jesus."~ EGW, Sons & Daughters of God pg.337, 338

Death Hurts

This week has been filled with sadness, and greater longing for home than ever for home.
I hesitated writing about this in light of my previous post this week regarding death. But I have to write. It somehow helps. On thursday morning we got news that a student missionary from our school serving overseas was murdered. And we cried. I know many of us students of us cried when we heard, because I saw them. My heart aches. For her, for her family and loved ones left behind. When I heard of her death I hoped with all my heart that she died instantly, not having felt any pain. But from the latest news, that wasn't so. And that makes it so much worse.
None of this was ever supposed to happen. Especially not to someone out educating little minds, and molding their hearts.
I can't comprehend the grief her loved ones must feel.
Each day more here on earth equals more sadness and suffering. I really don't understand how people can not want Jesus to come soon. The good news is, he's coming soon. Like Mark Finley said last weekend, Jesus can put off his coming for only so long, but there comes a point that regardless of our readiness, he must come, and take his children home.
I want to go home, and I want to inform as many people about Jesus and his coming.
God help us shake off all this earthliness and embrace eternity like we should.

Inspiration

I've spent the past hour(or two) doing something I enjoy immensely-- reading blogs. There's usually a theme to the blogs I follow/read. The theme is inspiration. I either follow blogs on photography, or of people whose walk with God encourages me and challenges me, motivates me to reach higher and dream bigger with and for God. Usually my favorite blogs to read tend to be by people who usually write long posts. But tonight, I happened to come across a blog that I had previously perused, but had never really sat down and read. This persons writing took me by surprise.
Almost all of their posts were only a couple sentences long. It was so refreshing. Something about the way they wrote, with so few words, really moved me. I'm not saying that I no longer like long posts, because that's not true. I'm simply saying that I find it so amazing that someone can have as big an impact on someone with just 5 lines of writing, as someone who's written 20 lines. And I think it's a gift. To be able to bring across a big idea with few words is a real talent. One that I don't have.
And even as a write, I'm beginning to suspect that maybe it isn't a matter of how many or how few words some people write~ it's almost as if every sentence they speak/write is a breath of fresh air. It's like you want to sit in their presence and just soak it all up. It really is impossible to explain, you just have to experience it for yourself.
And I know where their gift of communicating comes from. It comes from deep down in their hearts, and the One who places every one of their inspiring poems and anecdotes there is the very same One of whom it was said "never man spake like this man". I'm so blessed to be able to hear Jesus speaking through people who are able to express so much truth in such few words.

Sadness

Death wasn't supposed to happen. Ever. Especially not to kids. It just really sucks. Deep down we all know that we were meant to live forever. And anything short of that is tragic and all wrong.
I started following a young girls blog just this past week who had cancer, and was so blessed and inspired by her. And just now I found out she died.
I can't help crying right now, and I don't even know the girl! If I feel this bad, I can't even begin to imagine how bad her mom must feel~ and knowing that I can't even imagine how her mom feels, makes me cry even more.
And if our hearts break as humans when someone dies, even though that's all we've ever known, what must it be like for God, who created us for life eternal? That was His plan A.

And to think that the only reason there's death is because of sin. That same sin that we choose to hold on to day after day is the same sin that made death the inevitable outcome. And knowing that we might still hold on to our sin, Jesus still came, and gave his life, so that we could have another chance at life eternal. He wants us that bad. He came up with plan B.
I am so glad that Satan doesn't have the last say. I can't even imagine what this world would've become if it hadn't been for Jesus. And even though innocent people like my friend who died keep reaping the consequences of the first sin ever committed, there's hope, thanks to plan B. And thanks to plan B, we can cry tears of joy, mixed with our tears of sadness.
John 17:3, 1 John 2:25

New Journey

What do you do when you have an epiphany? Like where do you go from there?
How is it that from one minute to the next your whole perspective and focus on something can change?
I never want to forget this moment in time. I know that from now on my life is not going to be the same. In what specific ways I'm not exactly sure yet, but I'm okay with that for now, because that is not the point.

Right now I'm just really grateful, really relieved actually. There are few things as beautiful as the feeling of when something that is very dear to you finally makes sense. Really makes sense. In case you're wondering; this revelation doesn't make my life any easier or less complicated. Quite the opposite actually. I believe that with my new insight and focus I have signed up for a path that is much more difficult and treacherous than the one I was on before. And the most difficult aspect of it is the uncertainty that comes with it. Uncertainty is one of my worst enemies. Security has always been really important to me, so letting go of it is extremely difficult for me, but I've already taken the first step, and I'm determined not to look back, except to remember how God has led me.

Something that has made taking this step on my new journey easier is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in this. I could not accept any more uncertainty in my life unless it were so.
No fear of uncertainty or hardship can equal the peace that comes from following what you know to be right and true.
I know I have been somewhat vague about what exactly my epiphany was. And although I wont share what that was, like I mentioned earlier, God has led, and I'm simply following where I know I must go in order to be a little closer to eternity, to unity and completeness, wholeness.

My heart

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world." 1 John 2:15-16
A statement I came across in my devotional reading today really hit home.
"Sighing over your ignorance of divine things will never make you wise unto salvation. There are tens of thousand sluggish tears and sighs toward heaven that will never win one smile of approval from Jesus. Do not think that a Chrisitan experience will come to you of itself. When you make up your mind to do something on which your heart is set, you do not give up for difficulties, but try again and again." ~ Ellen G.W.
After reading the above verse late last night, and then reading these words in the devotional, I knew God was speaking directly to me.
I've found myself reaching for wordly things... Not bad things necessarily, just things that aren't from God, not in His plan for my life. It's so subtle, and so easy to ignore. But the more I reach for things of this world, the harder it is to set my heart on God.
I feel like I'm only taking away from the impact of the two quotations, because they really do sum up the two opposing ambitions. Either our heart is set on things of this world, or set on God.
All I can do is ask God for mercy. Because when it comes down to it, any lack of christian growth in my life is simply due to my heart not being set on God. I'm so grateful that God is showing me this, nudging me, even after so many pointless journeys my heart has taken away from him.