Dear One

It's a wonderful thing, to be at peace, even when you don't have answers. It frees you. From fear, from uncertainty, from expectations. It lifts the burden from your back, and you can suddenly breathe easier.
Peace helps you stand taller, and step surer, even when you can't see your next step. It helps you smile.
There's nothing in the whole wide world that can compare to it. Peace is missing in so many peoples lives, and the sad things is, we've gotten so use to it. We've gotten use to seeing faces without that warm blanket of deep down peace on their countenances.
Hopefully not completely use to it though. I saw one of those faces recently. There was no peace. And my heart skipped a beat, I felt a pang of fear, because this person is dearly loved.
I'm worried for them, but I don't know how to say it. I want to plead with them to please, open their eyes. I want to ask them why they don't look at peace to me. But I don't know how.
They are older than me, and their new found way of living-of talking, especially-stumps me, because it sounds so much more logical than the mumble-jumble emotional words I can barely keep myself from blurting out to them.
I feel a tiny bit how Adam must have felt, when he was trying to keep Eve from biting further into the apple of lies.
I don't want to lose my friend, but more than anything, I don't want my friend to lose the One Friend that really matters.
All I can do is pray, and ask God to anoint my lips, if He wants me to speak. I would want my friend to speak, to cry out to me, to warn me of the dangers of my present choices--especially if I knew that there was little time left.
I know what living without peace is like, and I shudder at the thought of the end result of turning from the peace that has been offered time and time again.
It's the look in the eyes, that makes my heart feel cold, and when I leave their presence, I have to spend some time in prayer, to help my heart warm up again.
Unfortunately, this look in their eyes didn't appear over night... I've seen it slowly progress. Little changes are hard to confront... But this time, I sense a complete shift. No longer subtle warning signs that are easy to ignore, but flashing red lights... maybe the flashing red lights were always there, from that first little choice, and only now have I allowed God to open my eyes. Whatever the case may be, I want more than anything to warn this dear individual, who has a big influence on certain other dear ones.
But alas, quite possibly my number one fault/flaw/weakness, is confrontation/communication. I like to tell myself that it isn't my place, considering my spiritual inexperience and shortcomings. I like to think that if they were related to me, I wouldn't hesitate to say something, but since they aren't the responsibility does not lie with me. I don't want to overreact.
So tonight I keep praying. For now, that is all I can do. Just like God opened my eyes to this dear ones condition, I will keep asking Him to show me what to do next. In the end, he wants the dear one to be at peace and safe in His care more than I ever could. And He is doing something, even now, to draw them back to His heart.
Luke 15:7

The Potter

Today's devotional reading, from In Heavenly Places, entitled "In The Hands Of The Potter" is too good to go without mentioning.
It was exactly what I needed to hear today. I'll share a little bit of it here.
" The excellence of a genuine connection with Christ comes with obedience to the words, ' Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me. . . .' The worker who has this experience has an intense longing to know the fullness of the love that passes knowledge. His capacity to enjoy the love of God constantly increases. Learning daily in the school of Christ he has a constantly increasing capacity to gasp the meaning of the sublime truths that are as far-reaching as eternity. . . .
He realizes that he is a material with which God is working, and that he must be passive in the Master's hands. Trials come to him, for unless tested by trials and disappointment he would never know his lack of wisdom and experience.
If he seeks the Lord with humility and trust, every trial will work for his good, He may sometimes seem to fail, but his supposed failure to reach the place where he hoped to stand may be God's way of bringing his advancement. He thinks that he has failed, but his supposed failure means a better knowledge of himself and a firmer trust in God. . . . He may make mistakes, but he learns not to repeat these mistakes. United with Christ, the True vine, he is enabled to bear fruit to the glory of God. . . .
The Lord desires us to be meek and lowly and contrite, yet filled with the assurance that comes from a knowledge of the will of God. He 'hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. . . . Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace . . .'
(2 Tim. 1:7-9) "~ In Heavenly Places, pg 28~
Okay, so I shared almost the whole devotional thought. I was just really blessed.
Also, todays first from biblegatway.com was perfect too. Matthew 7:7,8.

This week has been especially trying, for a variety of reasons. Tonight, as I welcome in the Sabbath, these words straight from heaven encourage me like nothing else in this world ever could.
God is sooo merciful. He performed some amazing miracles on my behalf, and in the behalf of others. Probably more than anything, he showed me things about myself that weren't necessarily music to my ears, but things I needed to realize. I wish I could go into detail right now. Maybe another day.

My heart is really full right now. Full of awe, full of gratitude. I have so much to say, but I don't know how. All I can say is, my heart is full.

No Time

There's no time left, to look back, and to wonder.
There's no time left, to wish and whine.
There's only time to win and to work.
Only time for reaching up and reaching out.
No time for wasting in slumber or stupor.
Only time for waking and for weeping,
Weeping for those who do not know,
and working.
Working to bring light to those in darkness,
Hope to all who stand looking down.
Healing to all who are broken.
Peace to all in terror.
Freedom to all in bondage.
There's no time left for wasting,
Only time for winning.

Dwelling

I survived my first day of a new semester, and I had to sit down to spend a little quiet time at the end of a very hectic day.
This is what part of what I read:
"When our minds are constantly dwelling upon the matchless of of God to the fallen race, we begin to know God, to become acquainted with Him. ..." ~EGW~ "In Heavenly Places" pg. 11

Those words, constantly dwelling.... Begin to know God... It's just the beginning.

Many Things

Many things of little and big importance are on my mind right now. But most of all, the nearness of His coming is on my mind and heart. There is still so much to be done- in my heart, and in the hearts of many others. Gods mercy is inconceivable. He has put up with our wandering ways for so long. We are so complacent, when there's a battle going on around us, and inside us. We make room for those things of least importance, and make them our priority, instead of God. I should stop saying "we", because the truth is, I'm speaking of myself only.
"Who will put on the whole armor? Who will enlist under the blood-stained banner of Prince Emmanuel?... Divine enlightenment may come to every struggling, tempted child of God in order that he need not fall in the strife with the powers of darkness, but be a conqueror in every battle." ~EGW~ Sons and Daughters of God pg. 369
So often I brush eternal realities to the side, and forget that there's battles that must be won, not by living as I please, but by hard toil and perseverance. I forget that there's armor that I should always have on.
It is immensley encouraging to know that God is willing and able to give me not only the needed enlightenment, but also the strength to come out of each and every battle a conqueror, until that day that is very near, where I will no longer be tempted and tried by the enemy of each and every child of God. With this power and grace offered me, I rise up again from my lethargic, dulled stupor, and pick up this blood-stained banner of my Prince, who is coming again soon, to bring His children home.
Revelation 3:5

Rat Race

I hope to one day be able to say this, and mean every word: "My affections, interest, treasure, all, is in the bright world to come. I long to see the King in His beauty". ~EGW~

It's funny how the cares of this life can tie you down and burden you, and can wear you out. If you let it. And unfortunately (probably because I'm really bad at time management) I often do let it wear me out. And the funny thing is, the very word life-to me- doesn't imply weariness.

In two days, I will be done with my 5th semester of college, and each time a new semester starts, I tell myself that "this semester" I will not live a rat race. But inevitably, I always do. And every semester, the rat race gets more intense. And at the end of every school year, I tell myself that "this summer" I will rest up and slow down. But bills make it necessary to work, and degrees in progress make summer classes necessary as well.
So each year, even though I am advancing academically, all other things seem to take second priority, if they take priority at all.
Many people tell me that there's no way that I can't possibly have time for other stuff, considering I've never taken more than 12 credit hours at once. True, but the problem is that after my academic responsibilities are met, the education system has taken all the energy and motivation that I had in me, so that all I want to do when I am done is go on time out, considering my introvert, easily stressed out soul.
And I'm trying to make changes. I really am. It's just so hard, because each semester gets "more important" for success in my current program and for my future career.
I guess what's really bothering me is, I can handle having to put certain things on hold for my academics, but when I catch my spiritual life being on hold, I can't take it. I don't like it. And it's not right. And when I hear things like "each moment is golden", I like my situation even less.
What/who exactly am I investing in on this rat race? Do my frantic, late night, early morning "accomplishments" matter in light of eternity? Or have I bought into the ways of the world? Have their definitions of success and responsibility and obligation altered my definitions? Do half of the things I'm obligated to learn/do/study in school help in my building of a heavenly home, or just an earthly one--or neither? And if the content is helpful, what about how it's presented, how it's paced, how it's balanced with every other aspect of building for eternity?

I have so many questions. And unfortunately, I can't stop what I'm doing while I'm waiting for answers. If I do, my school loans will come knocking at my door. What I can do is trust God, and do my part--which is to make Him my priority. Degree or no degree.

Snow!

I'm so happy right now, because we got snow here! This is the first time in almost 3 years since moving here that I've seen snow actually stay for more than 2 or 3 hours. I kinda wish it would've snowed on Christmas, considering that this is probably our only snowfall of the year, but just the same, I'm so happy right now. I know, it's not a lot of snow to speak of, but it's definitely better than none at all!

The photos of the snowmen were taken by Lani. Aren't they the cutest?:)