Sunday, January 31, 2010

Dear One

It's a wonderful thing, to be at peace, even when you don't have answers. It frees you. From fear, from uncertainty, from expectations. It lifts the burden from your back, and you can suddenly breathe easier.
Peace helps you stand taller, and step surer, even when you can't see your next step. It helps you smile.
There's nothing in the whole wide world that can compare to it. Peace is missing in so many peoples lives, and the sad things is, we've gotten so use to it. We've gotten use to seeing faces without that warm blanket of deep down peace on their countenances.
Hopefully not completely use to it though. I saw one of those faces recently. There was no peace. And my heart skipped a beat, I felt a pang of fear, because this person is dearly loved.
I'm worried for them, but I don't know how to say it. I want to plead with them to please, open their eyes. I want to ask them why they don't look at peace to me. But I don't know how.
They are older than me, and their new found way of living-of talking, especially-stumps me, because it sounds so much more logical than the mumble-jumble emotional words I can barely keep myself from blurting out to them.
I feel a tiny bit how Adam must have felt, when he was trying to keep Eve from biting further into the apple of lies.
I don't want to lose my friend, but more than anything, I don't want my friend to lose the One Friend that really matters.
All I can do is pray, and ask God to anoint my lips, if He wants me to speak. I would want my friend to speak, to cry out to me, to warn me of the dangers of my present choices--especially if I knew that there was little time left.
I know what living without peace is like, and I shudder at the thought of the end result of turning from the peace that has been offered time and time again.
It's the look in the eyes, that makes my heart feel cold, and when I leave their presence, I have to spend some time in prayer, to help my heart warm up again.
Unfortunately, this look in their eyes didn't appear over night... I've seen it slowly progress. Little changes are hard to confront... But this time, I sense a complete shift. No longer subtle warning signs that are easy to ignore, but flashing red lights... maybe the flashing red lights were always there, from that first little choice, and only now have I allowed God to open my eyes. Whatever the case may be, I want more than anything to warn this dear individual, who has a big influence on certain other dear ones.
But alas, quite possibly my number one fault/flaw/weakness, is confrontation/communication. I like to tell myself that it isn't my place, considering my spiritual inexperience and shortcomings. I like to think that if they were related to me, I wouldn't hesitate to say something, but since they aren't the responsibility does not lie with me. I don't want to overreact.
So tonight I keep praying. For now, that is all I can do. Just like God opened my eyes to this dear ones condition, I will keep asking Him to show me what to do next. In the end, he wants the dear one to be at peace and safe in His care more than I ever could. And He is doing something, even now, to draw them back to His heart.
Luke 15:7


  1. I should share this post with your friend. It speaks volumes.

  2. I still am not brave enough to share with my friend...The most I could do was write about it in some place where I know most likely they wont come across it. I know something needs to be said, I just don't seem to think it's quite time yet.
    And about the blood, yes, I did write about it last year sometime I think. I wrote about trying, but being rejected;)