Monday, December 28, 2009

Many Things

Many things of little and big importance are on my mind right now. But most of all, the nearness of His coming is on my mind and heart. There is still so much to be done- in my heart, and in the hearts of many others. Gods mercy is inconceivable. He has put up with our wandering ways for so long. We are so complacent, when there's a battle going on around us, and inside us. We make room for those things of least importance, and make them our priority, instead of God. I should stop saying "we", because the truth is, I'm speaking of myself only.
"Who will put on the whole armor? Who will enlist under the blood-stained banner of Prince Emmanuel?... Divine enlightenment may come to every struggling, tempted child of God in order that he need not fall in the strife with the powers of darkness, but be a conqueror in every battle." ~EGW~ Sons and Daughters of God pg. 369
So often I brush eternal realities to the side, and forget that there's battles that must be won, not by living as I please, but by hard toil and perseverance. I forget that there's armor that I should always have on.
It is immensley encouraging to know that God is willing and able to give me not only the needed enlightenment, but also the strength to come out of each and every battle a conqueror, until that day that is very near, where I will no longer be tempted and tried by the enemy of each and every child of God. With this power and grace offered me, I rise up again from my lethargic, dulled stupor, and pick up this blood-stained banner of my Prince, who is coming again soon, to bring His children home.
Revelation 3:5

Friday, December 11, 2009

Rat Race

I hope to one day be able to say this, and mean every word: "My affections, interest, treasure, all, is in the bright world to come. I long to see the King in His beauty". ~EGW~

It's funny how the cares of this life can tie you down and burden you, and can wear you out. If you let it. And unfortunately (probably because I'm really bad at time management) I often do let it wear me out. And the funny thing is, the very word life-to me- doesn't imply weariness.

In two days, I will be done with my 5th semester of college, and each time a new semester starts, I tell myself that "this semester" I will not live a rat race. But inevitably, I always do. And every semester, the rat race gets more intense. And at the end of every school year, I tell myself that "this summer" I will rest up and slow down. But bills make it necessary to work, and degrees in progress make summer classes necessary as well.
So each year, even though I am advancing academically, all other things seem to take second priority, if they take priority at all.
Many people tell me that there's no way that I can't possibly have time for other stuff, considering I've never taken more than 12 credit hours at once. True, but the problem is that after my academic responsibilities are met, the education system has taken all the energy and motivation that I had in me, so that all I want to do when I am done is go on time out, considering my introvert, easily stressed out soul.
And I'm trying to make changes. I really am. It's just so hard, because each semester gets "more important" for success in my current program and for my future career.
I guess what's really bothering me is, I can handle having to put certain things on hold for my academics, but when I catch my spiritual life being on hold, I can't take it. I don't like it. And it's not right. And when I hear things like "each moment is golden", I like my situation even less.
What/who exactly am I investing in on this rat race? Do my frantic, late night, early morning "accomplishments" matter in light of eternity? Or have I bought into the ways of the world? Have their definitions of success and responsibility and obligation altered my definitions? Do half of the things I'm obligated to learn/do/study in school help in my building of a heavenly home, or just an earthly one--or neither? And if the content is helpful, what about how it's presented, how it's paced, how it's balanced with every other aspect of building for eternity?

I have so many questions. And unfortunately, I can't stop what I'm doing while I'm waiting for answers. If I do, my school loans will come knocking at my door. What I can do is trust God, and do my part--which is to make Him my priority. Degree or no degree.

Saturday, December 5, 2009


I'm so happy right now, because we got snow here! This is the first time in almost 3 years since moving here that I've seen snow actually stay for more than 2 or 3 hours. I kinda wish it would've snowed on Christmas, considering that this is probably our only snowfall of the year, but just the same, I'm so happy right now. I know, it's not a lot of snow to speak of, but it's definitely better than none at all!
The photos of the snowmen were taken by Lani. Aren't they the cutest?:)