Undeserved

Saturday night Adrian loses hours and hours of writing from his laptop after mum accidentally does a complete factory reset on it, "a semesters worth--lost" he tells me. He asks a tech-savvy friend of his to try and restore what was lost, and after a night of trying, friend says no, just some pictures...

We hear from well meaning people that in Nashville "for just $500" he can get it all back, and it only makes things worse, him knowing it's possible, just not for him...  He usually doesn't show how much things affect him, but with the loss of irreplaceable work he can't help but show that it's hit him hard. And we all feel bad, because there's nothing we can do...

Monday evening comes.

Adrian announces with a hesitant smile that his friend's just then been able to restore the main document, the one where he's been typing out a future book for months, and hadn't recently saved it any place else--and he might be able to get the other papers back too...This happiness we feel for him-with him-, it fills our hearts.

And we think it's the end of our blessings for the day (there have been many). Adrian and mom head off to bed...

At 11:25 pm, after 6 days of being lost, Kitty is found... and although I try to be quiet Adrian hears the commotion just as he's drifting off to sleep. He runs down the stairs and catches sight of us as I carry her into the apartment. I see the excitement in his eyes...and the miracle of this moment, it overwhelms and I just can't keep the emotions in...

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Tuesday evening we're all still trying to let it sink in:

I find Adrian upstairs, and I ask myself, does he feel it too, God's breath of mercy on us? as he's holding kitty and saying "She's so much lighter, Sara...", with face turned away but I don't miss the tears in his eyes, this brother of mine that doesn't cry?Does he see God's gentle embrace in this act of mercy, this man with burdens much heavier than mine, who for the past 4 years has experienced more blows than I could ever imagine bearing in a lifetime, does he see the goodness of God, to have blessed him in such a special way, having restored not just one, but two precious things, in the same day?Does he?... I don't know, but I think so. Pray so.

Undeserved, this is all so undeserved. I know in my heart that He didn't need to do any of this. He didn't have to...But He did? Psalm 8:3,4.

And Kitty, yes, she's thinner and exhausted and has several scratches, and a patch of raw skin, but she is happy, sooo happy...a nonstop purring machine.

Through the experience of Kitty being found, He reminds me of many, many things...but especially on my heart tonight is the reminder to agonize over the lost--most of all for those closest to home, who's hearts are far, far away. Just like with Kitty, they too can be found, even in the darkest of nights...even if it isn't till the midnight of this earths history...He can restore them, too. Even if things look impossible right now. This truth, it fills me with so much hope, so I share this here, because I know I'm not the only who's heart is burdened for certain loved ones...He doesn't grow weary of seeking...how often do we?

And...I think of the words of a stranger who on Monday heard the story of our family from mom, and of the latest "losses". His response grips me and keeps ringing in my ears even now. "...nothing this side of heaven is a loss". To a child of God, he said, nothing this side of heaven is a loss....

And I'm begging God to help me believe that always, and live like that...

Kitty's first night back home

Kitty, tired but happy to sit next to mom, with her beloved ball

James 1:17